Other things

How to know a friend

Imagine an old friend lives far away In a lonely quiet place ——- They have many visitors Who come by invitation Who travel far And are greeted with warmth And respect ——— But you know They find this tiring. They tell you they delight In being alone ——— Now imagine you have business That takesContinueContinue reading “How to know a friend”

Learning to live alone

It has been so now For two and a half years For me, And yet It only just dawns upon me That I do. ———— I can do all the things – I only struggle to want… Them to do. I keep busy, away from home When I can; But home needs to be, NeedsContinueContinue reading “Learning to live alone”

Winter

Is come. The sun crawls across the ceiling And sets the paper globe ablaze With interstellar fire. It does not raise me. ———— I answer a call of nature And notice the air is not cold But return to my bed, Duvet Leisure ————- A weekend spreads before me. A breakfast is to be cooked,ContinueContinue reading “Winter”

A political development.

Earlier this year I declared my allegiance to Roger Hallam and Just Stop Oil in an unseen blog post. https://schnark.home.blog/2025/02/20/my-future/ They were making a very unpopular stand against fossil fuel use, and I guess it was probably inevitable they would eventually shift course, but I am very unhappy that they have shifted entirely into leftistContinueContinue reading “A political development.”

A medley of thoughts

It isn’t often that I’m stuck for words. Too many thoughts Sometimes stall my brain. As soon as I leave the page Profundity smiles at me From every corner of the room, But when I turn to write Falls quiet. I do not wish to share the details The minutiae of my exciting dreary life.ContinueContinue reading “A medley of thoughts”

A curious solution

The problem I’m thinking of is mortality – mortality within the context of loneliness, hopelessness, dissatisfaction. I don’t always feel this way, but when I do, I feel justified in it. I feel that it is quite rational for me to summarise my lot so, and, without adding mortality to the mix, perhaps there isContinueContinue reading “A curious solution”

The ship…

Well, no, You didn’t ask, But perhaps you were wondering? [To be honest I was putting this off, I was going to seek advice, just how big a wreck could Kenny reasonably be expected to have? But I didn’t have time, so it seems I’ll need to make it all up] Kenny had always wantedContinueContinue reading “The ship…”

What is an idiot?

Kenny knew the answer to that one. An idiot is someone who you have placed in a situation they find difficult. Kenny had been an idiot when his wife had left him with a house and a garden and a dog, that all meant nothing to him without her. It had taken him a yearContinueContinue reading “What is an idiot?”

To take leave of the land

All you had to do was provision your ship and have enough crew on board to keep a twenty four hour watch. Sounds easy doesn’t it? You were supposed to have something called a passage plan, alternative plans for when conditions might change, to have assessed risks of a given route, crew should also beContinueContinue reading “To take leave of the land”

A place called home

Kenny lived in a small semi detached house under the Erskine Bridge, on the River Clyde. The house had begun to go to rack and ruin pretty much simultaneous to the marriage, it was hard to know which was chicken and which the egg. Most of the stuff that Rose had planted was still there,ContinueContinue reading “A place called home”

The land and the sea

Kenny gave up his employment in the Spring of the year after his wife left him and his father died. He was lucky that the divorce was complete before his fathers death, so he got to keep the little wealth his dad had squirrelled away. He only had one brother, and though they’d nothing muchContinueContinue reading “The land and the sea”

Perfect Submission

In the hymn this refers to an absolute submission, an absolute trust, and loyalty. To submit in strength can be significant, to submit in weakness is an irrelevance. But in this religious sense, the submission seems to be one way. The pilgrim submits to a powerful God in the hope of winning eternity. This isContinueContinue reading “Perfect Submission”

National and International News

Our prime minister is angry. Too right He is jumping up and down Thumping furious The right wing are very excited. We have mistakenly released a foreign man convicted of sexual abuse. —— I was curious to see his picture I went to Google news, Expecting to see him top bill… ——- But he wasn’tContinueContinue reading “National and International News”

Jumper

I keep darning it, Well, I do when I find the needle And the wool, —— But the holes are winning this battle, Which makes me question Why I fight. ——- The jumper was bought for me And might be the last. It is grey With red stripes, (Horizontal), —— And I darn it WithContinueContinue reading “Jumper”

Many cups

I had one cup, You had many. I still have the same cup Doing good service. —— Your, many, cups Serve well For my few visitors, But yesterday My cup Was busy holding cold tea And lemon juice ——- And I taste my tea this morning For the very first time From one Of yourContinueContinue reading “Many cups”

Shedding.

I have spent the last two years, if not the whole of my life, trying to make friends, and desperately chasing those I think I have. But recently I’ve been beginning to think that a lot of my difficulty is in expectation or hope. In the gap between my perceived reality and my actual reality.ContinueContinue reading “Shedding.”

The likey game

Dear regular readers, You Are only a very small few, The modest remains of those That once I courted, And you are loyal. —— Your loyalty Is beyond my comprehension – I have confused, and insulted you, I have offended you, And wasted your time, But I value you More than rubies. ——— And whatContinueContinue reading “The likey game”

The first five commandments

I came to thinking about these on this sabbath day, as I thought of the wisdom of keeping a sabbath day holy. I think this stands aside from religion, it makes sense without reference to any God. We are not machines, and we can’t make real progress unless we stop, “Stand, and stare”. And thenContinueContinue reading “The first five commandments”

National Democracy

Two debates are going on around me. One about democracy, Another about nationalism. But I hear no one Put the two words together. ———- I don’t see why If we value an ideal of fairness It need end at an artificial border. ——— And I don’t understand why When we proclaim ourselves as democrats WeContinueContinue reading “National Democracy”

Sweet

Am I For thee. When happy times unfold before me And fortune falls in place, Though you are far away from me It’s you that fill my thoughts. ——— Salty Are my dreams of you, And spicy are your ways. I wonder what you’re thinking And I wonder what you live. And when you’ll wantContinueContinue reading “Sweet”

Foil wrapped chocolate

I offered it to you After you’d eaten A very light supper. You weren’t interested And I tossed it on the bed Before you went away. Your leaving heralded An abrupt end To an enchanted weekend, And a frenzy of activity For an erratic monopod. ———- I made preparations, Clean clothes, And things that neededContinueContinue reading “Foil wrapped chocolate”

An autumn evening…

under the apple tree. ——— 1st time I’ve stopped here in some time And like clockwork Bob is here. First a friendly squeak, And then she goes aloft to sing For a sweet moment. Does that make her A he? ——- I’m growing tired of apples, But never, Of the tree. ——- The sticky budContinueContinue reading “An autumn evening…”

Help

We assume this title To be a demand. Can it not also be An offer? ——- Nobody wants to ask, But we also don’t want to be thought weak. So just stand by Be there, Ready And waiting. ———- It might be a long wait, So bring a book, Do a crossword, Sing a song…..ContinueContinue reading “Help”

Friendship

Friendship Is born of necessity, Independence, it’s enemy, Vulnerability, a blessing. ———- Fall in the street; You will make more friends Than in a life time. Stand up, and claim to be ok, And the magic is broken. ———- We may have ideas of the friends we want, But nature will deal differently, And itContinueContinue reading “Friendship”

I do it for you

When I go to bed, I do it for you. I apologise that it’s later than it should be, I take my medicine And brush my teeth And water the plants All for you. When I put clean sheets on the bed I’m thinking of you And on the rare occasion I have company here,ContinueContinue reading “I do it for you”

Smart phone self abuse

I remember my time living in a community house in Inverness around late 2000- early 2003, I think. A time of innocence, but already the community was in decline. Long staying volunteer members were in retreat, backing off, living out. Several of them searching for a way to maintain a relationship with the community fromContinueContinue reading “Smart phone self abuse”

Surplus

September —————- Autumn arrives againBringing with it reliefTo attic dwellersOf cooler months to come, Of blinds left open,And house plants wateredOnly onceOr twice a day. But it also brings the harvestOf those belligerent plantsWhich refused to die,Which failed to wither; Plums, and plum tomatoes,And round tomatoes, andA handful of squash.And apples and more apples andContinueContinue reading “Surplus”

A day waiting for the tide

Years ago, morning and evening tides would be a perfect excuse for a day out over the saltings, or a trip to Sheerness Beach and Rico’s Caff. But Boy how times have changed. I’ve decided that sailing alone, though ok, is always inferior to a sail in company. And recently I’ve come to peace withContinueContinue reading “A day waiting for the tide”

Another Mikey

No, don’t worry, not another Mikey, just a moment to take a look at this one that has arrived, and her effect on our George. After a good days work, tidying up, and cleaning the shed, making it back into a summerhouse, as it was always meant to be, George had made – not goingContinueContinue reading “Another Mikey”

No title

I delayed posting this as I searched for a title. I looked everywhere, but found none, and today is as good a day as any. +++++++++++++++++++++++++ What matters an anniversary when you’re dead?When time has ceased to govern,And become only another directionOf places you will not visit. The earth traveled around the sun,But you wereContinueContinue reading “No title”

Who is George?

A good friend of mine, a sometimes “best friend” read most of this story, and when he reached the chapter titled https://schnark.home.blog/2024/10/31/debs-and-george/ expressed displeasure, he thought they were uninteresting middle class people. He felt guilty when I told him I was crying as I wrote it. In this chapter George represented married me, and wasContinueContinue reading “Who is George?”

Is this Mikey?

It was getting too hot again. George had been up most of the night, and was worrying about the garden. There were a few things in there that needed a drink, he knew that when he slept, it would be for an age, so he took himself down, and out, and negotiated the various obstacles.ContinueContinue reading “Is this Mikey?”

How to be a man

I’ve just finished reading a Hemingway novel, “To have or have not”. It’s one that I started reading a long time ago, but made such slow progress with, that perhaps the library recalled the book, or I lost it, or rendered it unreadable, with damp and dirt…. It made so little impression on me, thatContinueContinue reading “How to be a man”

The lovers

See them holding hands and smiling, Their fit healthy bodies Buzzing With that Union Of energy ———- Their smiling faces Full of expression That neither sees, Nor needs to see, But lifting the spirits of A passing stranger ————- I am loved as In turn I love, But am very rarely A lover! Only, DoContinueContinue reading “The lovers”

Editor wanted;

Dear all, Schnark.home.blog has become somewhat congested of late, As my waffle has proliferated, And I fear that I waste the time Of my very few, much valued readers. ———- I read through again and again, Desperate to thin out the dross. But I can’t seem to manage, I cannot see the wheat For theContinueContinue reading “Editor wanted;”

Living beauty amidst squalor

[Living, here, is meant as an action, not a descriptor] I sit on my toilet, enjoying a movement, Forgive me, Some can’t, so let’s not be prudish, And looking on the forest of houseplants Which my wife used to trim, And I would water. ————- Since she left me, There’s no one to trim themContinueContinue reading “Living beauty amidst squalor”

What do I mean

What do I mean when I say I love you? First of all, I hope, it means I care. And I love being with you, Whatever we are doing. ——— I guess, through your eyes, It might be more about me Than you, And that’s alright, But it’s not how I see it. ——— IContinueContinue reading “What do I mean”

Empty belly

Interesting this. Mine isn’t often. In fact, almost never was. ————- But yesterday I rushed out on a walk With a single marmite sandwich And a jar of fruit compot. And a flask of tap water ————— Twenty miles, Easily done In familiar company, Followed by a swift half Waiting for a train, ————— IContinueContinue reading “Empty belly”

Two ways to fall off a bicycle

There are two ways to fall Off a bicycle. Neither is good Nor bad. ——- You can fall leisureably From a bicycle; It’ll take you a while to take stock – Of your cuts And bruises ———- Or, You can fall frantically From a bicycle; Your mind will see it all happen, As if inContinueContinue reading “Two ways to fall off a bicycle”

You, me and Bob

I see more of Bobbie Than I do of you. But Bobbie Doesn’t write text messages ——————- She doesn’t tell me – I don’t love her And sadly, Her little body Isn’t made To caress mine. —————- Life with Bobbie Is less complicated Than life with you Or life without you. Bobbie’s just there, WaitingContinueContinue reading “You, me and Bob”

Overdrive

I remember my 1970s MGB In British Racing Green, But with rubber bumpers, No chrome in sight. And I never had a car with wire wheels – Have you ever tried fixing a puncture on a wire wheel? Brown and orange cloth interior, And in place of those modern pings and squeaks I had twoContinueContinue reading “Overdrive”

Young bird

You are tiny. And appear on the next branch of the blackcurrant bush to me. I decide you are young, on account of the soft downy, fluffy feathers at your chest, Somewhat dishevelled. You are inches from my face, And, most startled, As am I. But in that instant, Of, a fraction of a second,ContinueContinue reading “Young bird”

Pity the child

Pity the child That were born to me. I would keep it in a cupboard Out of harms way. I would respond to its cries For food, and for warmth, But as it grew, It would have me as its village. Pity the child That grew in my soil Its roots would not find theContinueContinue reading “Pity the child”

December 23,

Or was it January 24? ——— You came to see me When I needed you But you brought with you – Your needs. ——— Eighteen months later My head finally cools. ——— You were ahead of me. I want to be needed But I didn’t serve your need, I drove you away ———- And youContinueContinue reading “December 23,”

What to do with love;

Keep it far away from here,But never out of reach.Send it messages – often,But visit it – seldom And ask it few questions. Tie it up sometimesBut always release it -Let it run freeChase itLet it get awayLet it come back Let it go. Nurture itConsider itRemember itCelebrate itWelcome itEnjoy it – Whenever you canContinueContinue reading “What to do with love;”

A rejection of etiquette

Some time ago I withdrew from the tortured world of online dating. It seems to me that online is the only likely hope for working people to make romantic connections. In modern life, in the absence of strong community networks, it is too hard to signal one’s availability and interest, even if one is luckyContinueContinue reading “A rejection of etiquette”

Yes, and(?)…. II

I wrote some days ago about “Yes, and (?)”, that was borne out of a course in improvised comedy. link here https://schnark.home.blog/2025/05/28/yes-and/ I come back to the thought, as I’ve been getting a little too intense again, in various exchanges of messages. I notice that I never let anyone have the last word. In aContinueContinue reading “Yes, and(?)…. II”

Punctuation

==================== You might have noticed Dear reader, That I, your pocket poet, Am in love ++++ ++++ With punctuation. I’m not resourced With a great understanding Of Colons, and semi crochets. I use hyphens – And lay them out…. To trip you up. The object ++ As I understand it, Is to slow you down;ContinueContinue reading “Punctuation”

Certainty

Is it a good thing? Or not? I Would like to be certain ———– That you Would come home – At the end of the day, But, In that certainty – Do I not devalue You? Instead, Every time you go away, I will hope You’ll come back. And so, Can I give thanks ForContinueContinue reading “Certainty”

A night out

You and I, relaxed a little, And you missed the last train. You’d taken me to a forbidden place, We’d scaled a high railing, And settled, unseen, in this strange, beautiful sanctuary. ——— You, clinging to your certainty. Me, trying to understand it. But not able to hear you For my talking. ——— In placeContinueContinue reading “A night out”

Yes, and….(?)

In the midst of a very bleak winter, between 2023 and 24, this schnark enrolled for a course in improv comedy. It was the suggestion of a friend, and the schnark was surprised to find such a frantic industry teaching bright young things creative skills. As the course ended, he was encouraged to enroll forContinueContinue reading “Yes, and….(?)”

Wish you were here

https://open.spotify.com/track/5UazAPjH1yNaDT3lUbhjSp?si=mzWLIC4pS-2oRFy_nwWhfA&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EYkqdzj48dyYq Any bloody one of you. So that I could talk stuff of no consequence. And I could hear you breathing, as you were never good at making those “still listening” noises. Perhaps I should explain; When I say you…. I’m being non specific, it might mean any one of you or all of yousContinueContinue reading “Wish you were here”

The problem with self sown things

Here I am in one of many Penge gardens. One of the first evenings long enough to relax a little To take a break a little from the tidying of weeds. To enjoy the chatter of a thousand birds, And the excited company of young foxes. And to note a new and tiny strawberry plant.ContinueContinue reading “The problem with self sown things”

Reciprocity

Tell me….. If you don’t need me, What help are you To me? ——- If you have no use for me, I have no use for you. Tit For tatt. ——- It is childish., I will cut off my nose. Does it matter? Have you need of it? ——— I think what I’m saying is,ContinueContinue reading “Reciprocity”

My heart is on a train.

My heart’s not in the highlands, My heart isn’t here. —- The chocolate brown, endless moor Under a closed blanket of endless damp — Holds nothing for me. —- There’s barely a shelter, Barely a tree But the yellow, fire orange gorse bush Brightens the scene. —- We call at Kingussie, With a silent g.ContinueContinue reading “My heart is on a train.”

Your idea of me

I offered you the real me Perhaps once, or twice too often. ——- Of course it was too much, It would be too much. ——- And you invented another me. Easier to manage, Easier to explain. ——- I try to be the other me For you When I’m with you. But this me is stillContinueContinue reading “Your idea of me”

Who am I?

============ Why do I drink? Because I want to be a drinker. ——— Why do I work? Because I want to be a worker. ———- Why do I play? Because I want to be a player. ———- Why do I love? =========== Why do I sleep? Because I want to be a sleeper. ———- WhyContinueContinue reading “Who am I?”

Desperately seeking rejection

Seemed like a good title To explain yesterday’s revelation. ——- I seek interaction With others, In friendship, As well as love. But I cannot ever stop So must always be rejected. —— I must learn to anticipate. I remember in cadets; “Never anticipate the order” Seems to be hard wired In me. ——- I needContinueContinue reading “Desperately seeking rejection”

In search of a decent cooked breakfast

Hash browns are the answer. Avoid them. A mean unimaginative compromise. Bubble and squeak is what I want With bacon, eggs and beans. ——— There is no problem at home. I fry pumpkin, then eggs, then bacon, and mushrooms to clean the pan. Nothing more, But a little bread to wipe it round. ———— IContinueContinue reading “In search of a decent cooked breakfast”

Wo soll ich dich suchen?

Plays when I turn on my music box Means – Where should I look for you? ————- I lose my composure. Papers all over the floor Was i composed? I didn’t realise. ————— I wonder how I’d explain myself to the disinterested parties on this miserable foreign train. 20 years And what does that mean?ContinueContinue reading “Wo soll ich dich suchen?”

Honey

They say honey has been found in the pyramids Thousands of years old Still edible, Still sweet. ———————- I never had a taste for it, Or a habit of eating the stuff, But, in better days We’d have visitors, And honey Would often be brought. ——————— I see it now as a precious store ofContinueContinue reading “Honey”

Pain II

For some people Grief Is about the other. ————————- It is a selfless thing. They feel pain That is real, And they endure it For the one they love. ————————— Not for me. ————————— For me it is selfish. It is mine and mine alone. —————————- I’ve been called stoic. What shite? Ute was stoic,ContinueContinue reading “Pain II”

Pain

I don’t know that I’ve ever known it. ——————— I remember As a child Of ten? Running, with my blazer over my head, Elbows outstretched, Head down – Think I was a thunderbird, Or a pterodactyl – Straight into a brick wall ———————— I can remember the crack But not the pain. ————————- Pain hadContinueContinue reading “Pain”

What is a relationship?

What is this thing we call relationship That has fallen – so out of fashion? Am I to know when it begins, Or when it ends? ————————- If I hold your hand is that a contract? If I think about you after we part is that something you fear? What about dreams of the future?ContinueContinue reading “What is a relationship?”

Stand in the place where I am

—————- If you have visited me You might have been shocked At the state of my home, And my lack of care For your visit. —————— I have been learning That this is not unusual For folk in my situation. —————— You most likely ran away, And won’t come back. —————— But I need you,ContinueContinue reading “Stand in the place where I am”

I have a dear friend

I have a friend called Whisky A terribly unfortunate friend. I have great sympathy for Whisky, Pour whisky ————- Whisky lost a fortune, Pour whisky Whisky slipped on the ice, Pour whisky ————— Dear Whisky, A good friend indeed. I hope Whisky doesn’t have too much more misfortune. Hic’ Pour whisky ————— ————— Feel freeContinueContinue reading “I have a dear friend”

Red light

I give way at red lights But I don’t have time to wait, To get cold, And all the while in clear and present danger. ————————- Those who don’t dress cool And venture out on a bike can’t know this, This feeling of energy, Immortality, Power. ———————- This morning, Mid morning, In Newington Causeway, crossingContinueContinue reading “Red light”