Pity the child That were born to me. I would keep it in a cupboard Out of harms way. I would respond to its cries For food, and for warmth, But as it grew, It would have me as its village. Pity the child That grew in my soil Its roots would not find theContinueContinue reading “Pity the child”
Category Archives: Other things
December 23,
Or was it January 24? ——— You came to see me When I needed you But you brought with you – Your needs. ——— Eighteen months later My head finally cools. ——— You were ahead of me. I want to be needed But I didn’t serve your need, I drove you away ———- And youContinueContinue reading “December 23,”
What to do with love;
Keep it far away from here,But never out of reach.Send it messages – often,But visit it – seldom And ask it few questions. Tie it up sometimesBut always release it -Let it run freeChase itLet it get awayLet it come back Let it go. Nurture itConsider itRemember itCelebrate itWelcome itEnjoy it – Whenever you canContinueContinue reading “What to do with love;”
A rejection of etiquette
Some time ago I withdrew from the tortured world of online dating. It seems to me that online is the only likely hope for working people to make romantic connections. In modern life. In the absence of strong community networks, it is too hard to signal one’s availability and interest, even if one is luckyContinueContinue reading “A rejection of etiquette”
Yes, and(?)…. II
I wrote some days ago about “Yes, and (?)”, that was borne out of a course in improvised comedy. link here https://schnark.home.blog/2025/05/28/yes-and/ I come back to the thought, as I’ve been getting a little too intense again, in various exchanges of messages. I notice that I never let anyone have the last word. In aContinueContinue reading “Yes, and(?)…. II”
Inclusive
Welcome all To this world of pain and misery Where all is promised But you remain alone. ————- Paint a pink rainbow over my mind So none should miss my torture. You are welcome. ———— Inclusion? Occlusion? Seclusion? I chose the last Yesterday. ———— But once again I scream to be heard, To reach throughContinueContinue reading “Inclusive”
Punctuation
==================== You might have noticed Dear reader, That I, your pocket poet, Am in love ++++ ++++ With punctuation. I’m not resourced With a great understanding Of Colons, and semi crochets. I use hyphens – And lay them out…. To trip you up. The object ++ As I understand it, Is to slow you down;ContinueContinue reading “Punctuation”
Certainty
Is it a good thing? Or not? I Would like to be certain ———– That you Would come home – At the end of the day, But, In that certainty – Do I not devalue You? Instead, Every time you go away, I will hope You’ll come back. And so, Can I give thanks ForContinueContinue reading “Certainty”
A night out
You and I, relaxed a little, And you missed the last train. You’d taken me to a forbidden place, We’d scaled a high railing, And settled, unseen, in this strange, beautiful sanctuary. ——— You, clinging to your certainty. Me, trying to understand it. But not able to hear you For my talking. ——— In placeContinueContinue reading “A night out”
Yes, and….(?)
In the midst of a very bleak winter, between 2023 and 24, this schnark enrolled for a course in improv comedy. It was the suggestion of a friend, and the schnark was surprised to find such a frantic industry teaching bright young things creative skills. As the course ended, he was encouraged to enroll forContinueContinue reading “Yes, and….(?)”
Wish you were here
https://open.spotify.com/track/5UazAPjH1yNaDT3lUbhjSp?si=mzWLIC4pS-2oRFy_nwWhfA&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EYkqdzj48dyYq Any bloody one of you. So that I could talk stuff of no consequence. And I could hear you breathing, as you were never good at making those “still listening” noises. Perhaps I should explain; When I say you…. I’m being non specific, it might mean any one of you or all of yousContinueContinue reading “Wish you were here”
The problem with self sown things
Here I am in one of many Penge gardens. One of the first evenings long enough to relax a little To take a break a little from the tidying of weeds. To enjoy the chatter of a thousand birds, And the excited company of young foxes. And to note a new and tiny strawberry plant.ContinueContinue reading “The problem with self sown things”
Reciprocity
Tell me….. If you don’t need me, What help are you To me? ——- If you have no use for me, I have no use for you. Tit For tatt. ——- It is childish., I will cut off my nose. Does it matter? Have you need of it? ——— I think what I’m saying is,ContinueContinue reading “Reciprocity”
My heart is on a train.
My heart’s not in the highlands, My heart isn’t here. —- The chocolate brown, endless moor Under a closed blanket of endless damp — Holds nothing for me. —- There’s barely a shelter, Barely a tree But the yellow, fire orange gorse bush Brightens the scene. —- We call at Kingussie, With a silent g.ContinueContinue reading “My heart is on a train.”
Your idea of me
I offered you the real me Perhaps once, or twice too often. ——- Of course it was too much, It would be too much. ——- And you invented another me. Easier to manage, Easier to explain. ——- I try to be the other me For you When I’m with you. But this me is stillContinueContinue reading “Your idea of me”
Who am I?
============ Why do I drink? Because I want to be a drinker. ——— Why do I work? Because I want to be a worker. ———- Why do I play? Because I want to be a player. ———- Why do I love? =========== Why do I sleep? Because I want to be a sleeper. ———- WhyContinueContinue reading “Who am I?”
Desperately seeking rejection
Seemed like a good title To explain yesterday’s revelation. ——- I seek interaction With others, In friendship, As well as love. But I cannot ever stop So must always be rejected. —— I must learn to anticipate. I remember in cadets; “Never anticipate the order” Seems to be hard wired In me. ——- I needContinueContinue reading “Desperately seeking rejection”
In search of a decent cooked breakfast
Hash browns are the answer. Avoid them. A mean unimaginative compromise. Bubble and squeak is what I want With bacon, eggs and beans. ——— There is no problem at home. I fry pumpkin, then eggs, then bacon, and mushrooms to clean the pan. Nothing more, But a little bread to wipe it round. ———— IContinueContinue reading “In search of a decent cooked breakfast”
Wo soll ich dich suchen?
Plays when I turn on my music box Means – Where should I look for you? ————- I lose my composure. Papers all over the floor Was i composed? I didn’t realise. ————— I wonder how I’d explain myself to the disinterested parties on this miserable foreign train. 20 years And what does that mean?ContinueContinue reading “Wo soll ich dich suchen?”
Honey
They say honey has been found in the pyramids Thousands of years old Still edible, Still sweet. ———————- I never had a taste for it, Or a habit of eating the stuff, But, in better days We’d have visitors, And honey Would often be brought. ——————— I see it now as a precious store ofContinueContinue reading “Honey”
Pain II
For some people Grief Is about the other. ————————- It is a selfless thing. They feel pain That is real, And they endure it For the one they love. ————————— Not for me. ————————— For me it is selfish. It is mine and mine alone. —————————- I’ve been called stoic. What shite? Ute was stoic,ContinueContinue reading “Pain II”
Pain
I don’t know that I’ve ever known it. ——————— I remember As a child Of ten? Running, with my blazer over my head, Elbows outstretched, Head down – Think I was a thunderbird, Or a pterodactyl – Straight into a brick wall ———————— I can remember the crack But not the pain. ————————- Pain hadContinueContinue reading “Pain”
What is a relationship?
What is this thing we call relationship That has fallen – so out of fashion? Am I to know when it begins, Or when it ends? ————————- If I hold your hand is that a contract? If I think about you after we part is that something you fear? What about dreams of the future?ContinueContinue reading “What is a relationship?”
Stand in the place where I am
—————- If you have visited me You might have been shocked At the state of my home, And my lack of care For your visit. —————— I have been learning That this is not unusual For folk in my situation. —————— You most likely ran away, And won’t come back. —————— But I need you,ContinueContinue reading “Stand in the place where I am”
I have a dear friend
I have a friend called Whisky A terribly unfortunate friend. I have great sympathy for Whisky, Pour whisky ————- Whisky lost a fortune, Pour whisky Whisky slipped on the ice, Pour whisky ————— Dear Whisky, A good friend indeed. I hope Whisky doesn’t have too much more misfortune. Hic’ Pour whisky ————— ————— Feel freeContinueContinue reading “I have a dear friend”
Red light
I give way at red lights But I don’t have time to wait, To get cold, And all the while in clear and present danger. ————————- Those who don’t dress cool And venture out on a bike can’t know this, This feeling of energy, Immortality, Power. ———————- This morning, Mid morning, In Newington Causeway, crossingContinueContinue reading “Red light”
Light bulbs
As there are two kinds of light bulbs So there are two kinds of love, Probably many more…. There are L.E.D. light bulbs; That achieve great efficiency That can be left on all day and all night At minimal cost, That shed a mean light signal Devoid of warmth. And there are incandescent bulbs; BulbsContinueContinue reading “Light bulbs”
Vacuous
Learning to listen isn’t easy, When no one speaks, And I fill the vacuum Incessantly ————- And I should have seen this coming; Publishing my address On the internet… ————— A year later…. 47 Valentine’s cards. Each with no message, And no means of reply. —————— I’m sure they’re all from well meaning strangers WhoContinueContinue reading “Vacuous”
Chasing women
When you chase an intelligent woman Mind you don’t speak in rhyme. Don’t sing her songs, Nor dance before her. She’ll not be impressed. —————— For an intelligent woman Has seen it all before, And she knows she has no need of thee, And that happier she’ll be Alone. —————— So ask yourself, what moreContinueContinue reading “Chasing women”
Stewed apples
What is this alchemy? These apples were devoid of any sweetness or texture. They fell to the ground and were ignored for three months or more By the mice, the rats, the fox and cats, And by my good self. —————— The frost did all he could To sink his icy claws into them. TheContinueContinue reading “Stewed apples”
One starry night
https://open.spotify.com/track/6tqtBSQ0byoeyIdkdYHI1Y?si=bWkM392tSgC6gSBVMLgklg One starry night as I lay sleepingOne starry night as I lay in bedI dreamed I heard wagon wheels a creakingWhen I awoke, my own love had fled I’ll search the highways, likewise the bywaysI’ll search the boreens, the camping places too,I will inquire all of our peopleHave they tide or tidings or sightContinueContinue reading “One starry night”
What to do?
When you’re lonely and sad And the only person who talks Doesn’t talk enough, Keeps their distance. ———- And every time you hear from them something in your brain goes haywire. It expects more. You’re startled from your miserable equilibrium. You expect the pleasure of companionship, Of contact, Of more, But all you have isContinueContinue reading “What to do?”
Learning about Love
Mind now, Don’t preach at him. He doesn’t like to hear any word that might be uttered in a church. Touchy boy. I think love is a word, Not a concept. It is used in many ways. Did he love his dad? Did I love mine? And of course there is familial love, Which growsContinueContinue reading “Learning about Love”
To no one in particular
Two songs,…. I don’t really understand either… Or why it’s relevant…. To anything.…. Or anyone…. https://open.spotify.com/track/6tqtBSQ0byoeyIdkdYHI1Y?si=WzhqULmxSnei4NQLh7MWxA&context=spotify%3Aalbum%3A1IiLNL7LeHmPqmefggy3cQ https://open.spotify.com/track/7ExSGiqt0W5xu3XoAwjnDm?si=0KeRFr89SkqSw08mLYWnpw&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EYkqdzj48dyYq The second is proper nonsense, (maybe the first is too), but the mood carries some sort of message. Best wishes. S.
A good question
—————- For a listener, A good question 1st Needs to demonstrate Having heard something, But not Get lost In that detail. ——————- This happens to me. I get lost in the detail And I miss What you Are telling me. ————- So A question Needs to be prepared And forgotten ————- And I Need toContinueContinue reading “A good question”
Seeking community without dependence
I accept that you and I are quite different, But desirous of something similar. And perhaps also something different. ———- You; Have no need of me, But you keep in touch, And, sometimes, make time for me. ——— I; Am learning to have no need of you. Am diminishing my correspondence. Am hoping, as myContinueContinue reading “Seeking community without dependence”
Loving you still
I feel a warmness tonight., A burden truly lifted. I can trust in you To keep me warm. ————- You will warm me yourself Or through another. And I will always know your love And you mine. I need say no more.
Playing with words
can be a dangerous game. Most new dictionary terms are just new ways of expressing old things. My last piece titled Non monogamy has caused me considerable unquiet, and, I think, not been well understood without laboured explanation. When the public mood gives priority to an issue, we seek to address it with new laws,ContinueContinue reading “Playing with words”
Non Monogamy
I’ve been meaning to write about this for some time, I didn’t mean to make it a blog post, but since I’ve been pretty open about my pursuit of human contact I don’t see why this shouldn’t sit here in the timeline. And I’m on holiday from my fiction writing, so my characters can spendContinueContinue reading “Non Monogamy”
Opening up to love and adventure.
My newest creation is Lora. Actually she isn’t my creation she was given to me, and I am very grateful. Lora seems very young, I didn’t mean her to be, but I needed an openness which is hard to find in adulthood. I know this because I’ve been looking for love for a year now,ContinueContinue reading “Opening up to love and adventure.”
The woodlouse
Escaped from an apple, One of a million Wind fallen apples, And on the run Across the table. —————- I sit up late Amongst the fruit, Carefully trimming out By lamp light The bruises, and the scaly bits of core. Chopping them into thin slices And spreading them on trays. —————— I don’t know whereContinueContinue reading “The woodlouse”
What’s the point of a blog?
Or, what’s the point of this blog? —————- It keeps getting hijacked For different reasons But always by me. —————— It is a kind of semaphore A primitive signaling system. Smoke signals That can be seen for miles If anyone is looking. ——————- But before sending a message One needs to know what one wantsContinueContinue reading “What’s the point of a blog?”
Guarding your light II
Is that what you do? It’s dazzling. ———— And I transfixed Dazed, Confused, Bewildered By your energy. ————— Your radiant warmth Needs no telephony. I Need no exploding device To shatter my calm. I need no direct gaze To be blinded by you, —————- But there you are On that far off Malabar shore TryingContinueContinue reading “Guarding your light II”
Ein Kind ist geboren
Across the sea and up a big river a child has entered the world. Were my love alive today this would be her niece, And she would know what to do. It is barely a year since we buried those ashes In that shady tidy place, So much further away. —————- The child is hopeContinueContinue reading “Ein Kind ist geboren”
Guarding your light
At this time of year my bike is fitted with a hub dynamo. The switch in the lamp is broken. So it’s always on. At the station I need to guard it, so not to signal to, or annoy the drivers. It’s important to keep a good light, But also to shield it, For itContinueContinue reading “Guarding your light”
What is it like to be black?
What is it like to be black? I do not know, I cannot comment. What is it like to be poor and black? I do not know, I cannot comment. What is it like to be rich and black? I do not know, I cannot comment. What is it like to be poor and black,ContinueContinue reading “What is it like to be black?”
Your name
Comes to me 1st as I wake But with no reason, It’s just a name, Maybe a feeling? ————- I make myself think About you— And with the pleasure Comes a little pain….. That it takes effort To turn the name ————- Into solid thought, Memory of you. ————— Now tears too, Guilt, Regret. AContinueContinue reading “Your name”
New suits
Two old men in a shabby room over a miserable shop The older man announces with sarcastic enthusiasm the arrival of the suits. I am most surprised, and a little relieved. I was missed out the last few times that gear was handed out. Clearly I’d offended somehow, My card was marked. But now, itContinueContinue reading “New suits”
The wart
It was growing before my wife’s cancer. It waxes and wanes, Grows big and painful in the winter, But almost disappears each summer. —————- A kindly doctor offered to freeze it off, But warned of a little pain. I took that to be a lot of pain, And I had a lot of travel atContinueContinue reading “The wart”
Love.
Tomorrow will be a year since a call from my father in law with news of my wife’s death. I can only describe my love, as in the feeling inside me, as a great, but unwanted resource. There is enough to go round, but no one wants it. The date of the anniversary is anContinueContinue reading “Love.”
The apples that fall in September
The apples that fall in August are better than those that fell in July. But the hair dryer wind that blew in July was enough to dry the best of those, And preserve them without any expense of power. In Penge we have spent many August evenings Meticulously cutting out the mess left behind ByContinueContinue reading “The apples that fall in September”
Choosing the words (Updated, mid Aug)
Choosing the right words When none are wanted, But there is so much to say And all of it humming with portent. Biding my time. Holding my tongue Withholding my very existence. To hibernate at the height of summer. To hide in open sight, To beg God To escape this wretched no-man’s land. Dreaming ThatContinueContinue reading “Choosing the words (Updated, mid Aug)”
Cross dressing
It began with my wife’s socks, Much more cheerful colours than mine. Oh, before that, a sailbag sarong. A questioning of expectation… A re-invention. —————— But I cannot stomach the pretty little pink and turquoise stripes. I wore them for two days, But felt most uncomfortable. And this tshirt is made to accommodate Far moreContinueContinue reading “Cross dressing”
Thoughts on National Service
The Conservative party are seeking to remain in power for another 5 year term, making up to nineteen years in power, less than Putin, but not much less My first thought, on reading of their desperate attempt to appeal to the electorate – ie the old, who have time, and are minded to vote -ContinueContinue reading “Thoughts on National Service”
Memories
The memories of which I speak, Are not the ones that live in my head. -There are plenty of those- But the ones that fill cupboards, And boxes, Nooks, And crannies…. —- Which I come across now and then. When putting away the laundry, Or looking for lost things. —— These are scribbles on paperContinueContinue reading “Memories”
Uncle Peter’s cutlery drawer.
I visited a few weeks before he died., A year after he was widowed. I didn’t understand the illness. ——— Addiction to morphine left him running for the toilet Whenever the dose was cut. ———- I was sent out to buy steak. I came back with a pie Which he barely touched, Nor the vegetables.ContinueContinue reading “Uncle Peter’s cutlery drawer.”
Tinned pears
How many wives make their own tinned pears, From pears grown on their husband’s tree? These were a triumph! But this the last jar. Had you been saving it, Or were they just lost beneath our bed? . None of that nasty grape juice here But proper sugar syrup, And strange foreign bodies Of someContinueContinue reading “Tinned pears”
Who is Millie?
This was my unnerving thought as I woke this morning. The 1st day after putting the clocks back for winter morning light. I was unnerved because I was remembering the name “Millie” with the warm affection usually reserved for my dear wife, companion of twenty years, guardian of my healthy diet, my moral compass, andContinueContinue reading “Who is Millie?”
Reintroduction
Back in December of 2019 just as we were first hearing of a new virus that you could get from eating bats in China, that obviously would never be a problem to us, the Schnark burst onto the internet amid a whirlwind of stillness with this introduction https://schnark.home.blog/2019/12/07/example-post/ I think it is time for theContinueContinue reading “Reintroduction”
Too difficult
To feel your presence I look for you in the wind I look for you in my thoughts I look for you in the garden And in the bed … And all I find is silence …. I find little signs; The sunflower Which the bird planted Which I was promised would never flower IsContinueContinue reading “Too difficult”
Too easy
Is life; To breathe air To eat and sleep To work and play To talk (I talk too much) …. To sing songs To recite poetry To see beauty To look away To claim God’s care To walk with friends …. All these things are too easy for me. I have missed no meals norContinueContinue reading “Too easy”
It is what it is
Some one took me to task for saying this about my situation, the death of my beautiful life loving spouse, and my being far away and powerless to do what I would for her. And I realised I’d been using this expression a lot. I find it a social tool as the emotions seem tooContinueContinue reading “It is what it is”
The woman who melted
How many words are there for alive? She was all of these. And she was my world, my galaxy, my atmosphere. And now ’tis like being in a vacuum. I try to conjure her presence, I imagine her behind me, breathing on my neck. Breathing? She melted – so slowly and then all at once,ContinueContinue reading “The woman who melted”
Poem by James Fraser
What feeling I have in my heart, no one else has. It’s a warm feeling. No one can take away joy because it is alive in my heart. Like in church, you have a happiness, not a deadness. God says happiness is good. We’re all the same. We’re all one. We’re not two people. LikeContinueContinue reading “Poem by James Fraser”
Keep off the blog
The pain of the loss of a very difficult woman.
Nettles
Food that fights At first they seem innocuous,A small stand of light green stems and leavesUnder a newly planted plum.I welcome them as a source of spring healthiness and vigour. But despite regular cropping they become stronger,And Stronger.They fight like lowlanders at Culloden,Each defends his brother with a sideways thrust. Ouch.The pain continues as theyContinueContinue reading “Nettles”
God bless the King!
HEADLINE NEWS MAN THROWS SMALL BITS OF PLASTIC THROUGH RAILINGS AT PALACE Shock/Horror? Police praised for handling difficult situation. Was this really headline news? Whose job was it this morning at the Beeb to assess the importance of this story, and how completely it should be told? Let us think for a moment… Spent shotContinueContinue reading “God bless the King!”
Should auld acquaintance be forgot?
Please click through for musical post. An appalling rendition of Auld Lang Syne Three Ships Was meant to be Auld Lang Syne Happy New Year, best wishes for 2023
schnark.home.blog 