Poem

Winter

Is come. The sun crawls across the ceiling And sets the paper globe ablaze With interstellar fire. It does not raise me. ———— I answer a call of nature And notice the air is not cold But return to my bed, Duvet Leisure ————- A weekend spreads before me. A breakfast is to be cooked,ContinueContinue reading “Winter”

Jumper

I keep darning it, Well, I do when I find the needle And the wool, —— But the holes are winning this battle, Which makes me question Why I fight. ——- The jumper was bought for me And might be the last. It is grey With red stripes, (Horizontal), —— And I darn it WithContinueContinue reading “Jumper”

The failure of a government

I don’t know if our government’s direction Towards “net zero” Is sincere, Or practical, ——- But it is irrelevant. —— For they avoid the subject They will not support the policy And the questioner, (bbc), Doesn’t see its value. ——— Even if they had perfect understanding, Perfect foresight, Commitment, Resource And resolve…. ——— They willContinueContinue reading “The failure of a government”

Many cups

I had one cup, You had many. I still have the same cup Doing good service. —— Your, many, cups Serve well For my few visitors, But yesterday My cup Was busy holding cold tea And lemon juice ——- And I taste my tea this morning For the very first time From one Of yourContinueContinue reading “Many cups”

Foil wrapped chocolate

I offered it to you After you’d eaten A very light supper. You weren’t interested And I tossed it on the bed Before you went away. Your leaving heralded An abrupt end To an enchanted weekend, And a frenzy of activity For an erratic monopod. ———- I made preparations, Clean clothes, And things that neededContinueContinue reading “Foil wrapped chocolate”

Pleasantry

“Keep in touch” he said A pleasant time Had by all. But is pleasantry All That is wanted? ———— Is that why we orbit the sun? Lord knows we need pleasantry As much as we need air, fire, and water. But what more? ————— What can be? And will be Us to describe? —————- AContinueContinue reading “Pleasantry”

Help

We assume this title To be a demand. Can it not also be An offer? ——- Nobody wants to ask, But we also don’t want to be thought weak. So just stand by Be there, Ready And waiting. ———- It might be a long wait, So bring a book, Do a crossword, Sing a song…..ContinueContinue reading “Help”

I do it for you

When I go to bed, I do it for you. I apologise that it’s later than it should be, I take my medicine And brush my teeth And water the plants All for you. When I put clean sheets on the bed I’m thinking of you And on the rare occasion I have company here,ContinueContinue reading “I do it for you”

Surplus

September —————- Autumn arrives againBringing with it reliefTo attic dwellersOf cooler months to come, Of blinds left open,And house plants wateredOnly onceOr twice a day. But it also brings the harvestOf those belligerent plantsWhich refused to die,Which failed to wither; Plums, and plum tomatoes,And round tomatoes, andA handful of squash.And apples and more apples andContinueContinue reading “Surplus”

No title

I delayed posting this as I searched for a title. I looked everywhere, but found none, and today is as good a day as any. +++++++++++++++++++++++++ What matters an anniversary when you’re dead?When time has ceased to govern,And become only another directionOf places you will not visit. The earth traveled around the sun,But you wereContinueContinue reading “No title”

The lovers

See them holding hands and smiling, Their fit healthy bodies Buzzing With that Union Of energy ———- Their smiling faces Full of expression That neither sees, Nor needs to see, But lifting the spirits of A passing stranger ————- I am loved as In turn I love, But am very rarely A lover! Only, DoContinueContinue reading “The lovers”

Editor wanted;

Dear all, Schnark.home.blog has become somewhat congested of late, As my waffle has proliferated, And I fear that I waste the time Of my very few, much valued readers. ———- I read through again and again, Desperate to thin out the dross. But I can’t seem to manage, I cannot see the wheat For theContinueContinue reading “Editor wanted;”

Living beauty amidst squalor

[Living, here, is meant as an action, not a descriptor] I sit on my toilet, enjoying a movement, Forgive me, Some can’t, so let’s not be prudish, And looking on the forest of houseplants Which my wife used to trim, And I would water. ————- Since she left me, There’s no one to trim themContinueContinue reading “Living beauty amidst squalor”

What do I mean

What do I mean when I say I love you? First of all, I hope, it means I care. And I love being with you, Whatever we are doing. ——— I guess, through your eyes, It might be more about me Than you, And that’s alright, But it’s not how I see it. ——— IContinueContinue reading “What do I mean”

Empty belly

Interesting this. Mine isn’t often. In fact, almost never was. ————- But yesterday I rushed out on a walk With a single marmite sandwich And a jar of fruit compot. And a flask of tap water ————— Twenty miles, Easily done In familiar company, Followed by a swift half Waiting for a train, ————— IContinueContinue reading “Empty belly”

Learning to let life go

“One can’t have the cake and eat it” As the old saying goes. ———— And here I am, in my pit, Nearly 2pm on a hot summer’s day Pondering all the things that might want doing. ————— It is possible to prize the cake too highly And never get to taste it. Life is short,ContinueContinue reading “Learning to let life go”

The last carrot?

You opened a packet of heritage seed, It was several years old. You sowed them in the window box, (Not the best start in life). But I began to water And several carrots grew. ———— I could have eaten them After you’d died, But I wanted to keep them. The next year they went toContinueContinue reading “The last carrot?”

Overdrive

I remember my 1970s MGB In British Racing Green, But with rubber bumpers, No chrome in sight. And I never had a car with wire wheels – Have you ever tried fixing a puncture on a wire wheel? Brown and orange cloth interior, And in place of those modern pings and squeaks I had twoContinueContinue reading “Overdrive”

Young bird

You are tiny. And appear on the next branch of the blackcurrant bush to me. I decide you are young, on account of the soft downy, fluffy feathers at your chest, Somewhat dishevelled. You are inches from my face, And, most startled, As am I. But in that instant, Of, a fraction of a second,ContinueContinue reading “Young bird”

Pity the child

Pity the child That were born to me. I would keep it in a cupboard Out of harms way. I would respond to its cries For food, and for warmth, But as it grew, It would have me as its village. Pity the child That grew in my soil Its roots would not find theContinueContinue reading “Pity the child”

December 23,

Or was it January 24? ——— You came to see me When I needed you But you brought with you – Your needs. ——— Eighteen months later My head finally cools. ——— You were ahead of me. I want to be needed But I didn’t serve your need, I drove you away ———- And youContinueContinue reading “December 23,”

What to do with love;

Keep it far away from here,But never out of reach.Send it messages – often,But visit it – seldom And ask it few questions. Tie it up sometimesBut always release it -Let it run freeChase itLet it get awayLet it come back Let it go. Nurture itConsider itRemember itCelebrate itWelcome itEnjoy it – Whenever you canContinueContinue reading “What to do with love;”

The problem with self sown things

Here I am in one of many Penge gardens. One of the first evenings long enough to relax a little To take a break a little from the tidying of weeds. To enjoy the chatter of a thousand birds, And the excited company of young foxes. And to note a new and tiny strawberry plant.ContinueContinue reading “The problem with self sown things”

Reciprocity

Tell me….. If you don’t need me, What help are you To me? ——- If you have no use for me, I have no use for you. Tit For tatt. ——- It is childish., I will cut off my nose. Does it matter? Have you need of it? ——— I think what I’m saying is,ContinueContinue reading “Reciprocity”

My heart is on a train.

My heart’s not in the highlands, My heart isn’t here. —- The chocolate brown, endless moor Under a closed blanket of endless damp — Holds nothing for me. —- There’s barely a shelter, Barely a tree But the yellow, fire orange gorse bush Brightens the scene. —- We call at Kingussie, With a silent g.ContinueContinue reading “My heart is on a train.”

Your idea of me

I offered you the real me Perhaps once, or twice too often. ——- Of course it was too much, It would be too much. ——- And you invented another me. Easier to manage, Easier to explain. ——- I try to be the other me For you When I’m with you. But this me is stillContinueContinue reading “Your idea of me”

Desperately seeking rejection

Seemed like a good title To explain yesterday’s revelation. ——- I seek interaction With others, In friendship, As well as love. But I cannot ever stop So must always be rejected. —— I must learn to anticipate. I remember in cadets; “Never anticipate the order” Seems to be hard wired In me. ——- I needContinueContinue reading “Desperately seeking rejection”

In search of a decent cooked breakfast

Hash browns are the answer. Avoid them. A mean unimaginative compromise. Bubble and squeak is what I want With bacon, eggs and beans. ——— There is no problem at home. I fry pumpkin, then eggs, then bacon, and mushrooms to clean the pan. Nothing more, But a little bread to wipe it round. ———— IContinueContinue reading “In search of a decent cooked breakfast”

Honey

They say honey has been found in the pyramids Thousands of years old Still edible, Still sweet. ———————- I never had a taste for it, Or a habit of eating the stuff, But, in better days We’d have visitors, And honey Would often be brought. ——————— I see it now as a precious store ofContinueContinue reading “Honey”

Pain

I don’t know that I’ve ever known it. ——————— I remember As a child Of ten? Running, with my blazer over my head, Elbows outstretched, Head down – Think I was a thunderbird, Or a pterodactyl – Straight into a brick wall ———————— I can remember the crack But not the pain. ————————- Pain hadContinueContinue reading “Pain”

What is a relationship?

What is this thing we call relationship That has fallen – so out of fashion? Am I to know when it begins, Or when it ends? ————————- If I hold your hand is that a contract? If I think about you after we part is that something you fear? What about dreams of the future?ContinueContinue reading “What is a relationship?”

Stand in the place where I am

—————- If you have visited me You might have been shocked At the state of my home, And my lack of care For your visit. —————— I have been learning That this is not unusual For folk in my situation. —————— You most likely ran away, And won’t come back. —————— But I need you,ContinueContinue reading “Stand in the place where I am”

I have a dear friend

I have a friend called Whisky A terribly unfortunate friend. I have great sympathy for Whisky, Pour whisky ————- Whisky lost a fortune, Pour whisky Whisky slipped on the ice, Pour whisky ————— Dear Whisky, A good friend indeed. I hope Whisky doesn’t have too much more misfortune. Hic’ Pour whisky ————— ————— Feel freeContinueContinue reading “I have a dear friend”

Red light

I give way at red lights But I don’t have time to wait, To get cold, And all the while in clear and present danger. ————————- Those who don’t dress cool And venture out on a bike can’t know this, This feeling of energy, Immortality, Power. ———————- This morning, Mid morning, In Newington Causeway, crossingContinueContinue reading “Red light”

Light bulbs

As there are two kinds of light bulbs So there are two kinds of love, Probably many more…. There are L.E.D. light bulbs; That achieve great efficiency That can be left on all day and all night At minimal cost, That shed a mean light signal Devoid of warmth. And there are incandescent bulbs; BulbsContinueContinue reading “Light bulbs”

Another kind of suicide

I need to bottle myself. I have something desperately important to do, To communicate, But I don’t know what it is, Or to whom. ============= Each one of us is filled to the brim with potential, But society requires us to bottle it. Put a cork in it. Keep out of the way, And don’tContinueContinue reading “Another kind of suicide”

Chasing women

When you chase an intelligent woman Mind you don’t speak in rhyme. Don’t sing her songs, Nor dance before her. She’ll not be impressed. —————— For an intelligent woman Has seen it all before, And she knows she has no need of thee, And that happier she’ll be Alone. —————— So ask yourself, what moreContinueContinue reading “Chasing women”

Stewed apples

What is this alchemy? These apples were devoid of any sweetness or texture. They fell to the ground and were ignored for three months or more By the mice, the rats, the fox and cats, And by my good self. —————— The frost did all he could To sink his icy claws into them. TheContinueContinue reading “Stewed apples”

Learning about Love

Mind now, Don’t preach at him. He doesn’t like to hear any word that might be uttered in a church. Touchy boy. I think love is a word, Not a concept. It is used in many ways. Did he love his dad? Did I love mine? And of course there is familial love, Which growsContinueContinue reading “Learning about Love”

Seeking community without dependence

I accept that you and I are quite different, But desirous of something similar. And perhaps also something different. ———- You; Have no need of me, But you keep in touch, And, sometimes, make time for me. ——— I; Am learning to have no need of you. Am diminishing my correspondence. Am hoping, as myContinueContinue reading “Seeking community without dependence”

Being the last man standing

I know that I am not, But it feels this way. ——— Like the army have been trampled under horses hooves, Or rather, put to sleep with magic potion. ———- And I was somehow doing something else, I missed the cull, And now here I stand alone, Ranting, An irrelevance. ———— I should join theContinueContinue reading “Being the last man standing”

The woodlouse

Escaped from an apple, One of a million Wind fallen apples, And on the run Across the table. —————- I sit up late Amongst the fruit, Carefully trimming out By lamp light The bruises, and the scaly bits of core. Chopping them into thin slices And spreading them on trays. —————— I don’t know whereContinueContinue reading “The woodlouse”

What’s the point of a blog?

Or, what’s the point of this blog? —————- It keeps getting hijacked For different reasons But always by me. —————— It is a kind of semaphore A primitive signaling system. Smoke signals That can be seen for miles If anyone is looking. ——————- But before sending a message One needs to know what one wantsContinueContinue reading “What’s the point of a blog?”

Guarding your light II

Is that what you do? It’s dazzling. ———— And I transfixed Dazed, Confused, Bewildered By your energy. ————— Your radiant warmth Needs no telephony. I Need no exploding device To shatter my calm. I need no direct gaze To be blinded by you, —————- But there you are On that far off Malabar shore TryingContinueContinue reading “Guarding your light II”

Ein Kind ist geboren

Across the sea and up a big river a child has entered the world. Were my love alive today this would be her niece, And she would know what to do. It is barely a year since we buried those ashes In that shady tidy place, So much further away. —————- The child is hopeContinueContinue reading “Ein Kind ist geboren”

What is it like to be black?

What is it like to be black? I do not know, I cannot comment. What is it like to be poor and black? I do not know, I cannot comment. What is it like to be rich and black? I do not know, I cannot comment. What is it like to be poor and black,ContinueContinue reading “What is it like to be black?”

Your name

Comes to me 1st as I wake But with no reason, It’s just a name, Maybe a feeling? ————- I make myself think About you— And with the pleasure Comes a little pain….. That it takes effort To turn the name ————- Into solid thought, Memory of you. ————— Now tears too, Guilt, Regret. AContinueContinue reading “Your name”

Choosing the words (Updated, mid Aug)

Choosing the right words When none are wanted, But there is so much to say And all of it humming with portent. Biding my time. Holding my tongue Withholding my very existence. To hibernate at the height of summer. To hide in open sight, To beg God To escape this wretched no-man’s land. Dreaming ThatContinueContinue reading “Choosing the words (Updated, mid Aug)”

Cross dressing

It began with my wife’s socks, Much more cheerful colours than mine. Oh, before that, a sailbag sarong. A questioning of expectation… A re-invention. —————— But I cannot stomach the pretty little pink and turquoise stripes. I wore them for two days, But felt most uncomfortable. And this tshirt is made to accommodate Far moreContinueContinue reading “Cross dressing”

What is a war?

Here I am again Banging my drum. —— Nothing new here, So regular readers, move along If it’s novelty you seek. —— I’m triggered by the news That Britain’s not ready For war —— And that war hasn’t yet begun. I wonder what was said By that great Russian To the people he took toContinueContinue reading “What is a war?”

Uncle Peter’s cutlery drawer.

I visited a few weeks before he died., A year after he was widowed. I didn’t understand the illness. ——— Addiction to morphine left him running for the toilet Whenever the dose was cut. ———- I was sent out to buy steak. I came back with a pie Which he barely touched, Nor the vegetables.ContinueContinue reading “Uncle Peter’s cutlery drawer.”

Tinned pears

How many wives make their own tinned pears, From pears grown on their husband’s tree? These were a triumph! But this the last jar. Had you been saving it, Or were they just lost beneath our bed? . None of that nasty grape juice here But proper sugar syrup, And strange foreign bodies Of someContinueContinue reading “Tinned pears”

Too difficult

To feel your presence I look for you in the wind I look for you in my thoughts I look for you in the garden And in the bed … And all I find is silence …. I find little signs; The sunflower Which the bird planted Which I was promised would never flower IsContinueContinue reading “Too difficult”

Poem by James Fraser

What feeling I have in my heart, no one else has. It’s a warm feeling. No one can take away joy because it is alive in my heart. Like in church, you have a happiness, not a deadness. God says happiness is good. We’re all the same. We’re all one. We’re not two people. LikeContinueContinue reading “Poem by James Fraser”

Nettles

Food that fights At first they seem innocuous,A small stand of light green stems and leavesUnder a newly planted plum.I welcome them as a source of spring healthiness and vigour. But despite regular cropping they become stronger,And Stronger.They fight like lowlanders at Culloden,Each defends his brother with a sideways thrust. Ouch.The pain continues as theyContinueContinue reading “Nettles”

The corpse’s protest.

Who are you? —— That put flowers on my grave? Did you love me? —— Did you care? Did I know you? ——- Could I trust you? Could you know —— I didn’t choose to be alone? Don’t you know —— I had a heart of stone? And you comment; What a pity ——- ThatContinueContinue reading “The corpse’s protest.”

James

I don’t know much about James, Only that his heart is not filled with cold cynicism like my own. His mind is uncomplicated and his spirit pure. He sees opportunity in the weariness of strangers. The pleasure of kindness. I am jealous of James. I don’t know if I can learn from James. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/18328363.kind-hearted-james-leaves-gifts-nhs-staff-battling-coronavirus-john-radcliffe/&ved=2ahUKEwjE3YevyrvoAhXMYcAKHaijC0wQFjAAegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw2E-bjwudscyCwO9IqrwHYV IContinueContinue reading “James”

A month of stormy Sundays

The third weekend of “Wet Play” in a row. A challenge for someone “in his prime”, who is imprisoned at a desk through the week. The short days mostly passing by unseen, or unnoticed, Outside the office window. I pour all my soul into dreams of things to come, Not minding whether they doContinueContinue reading “A month of stormy Sundays”

Station cat

Station Cat I see you often Stretched across the card reader That guards the step free access. I guess you have a story, Not just a pat on the head from each passing commuter. Today your cover’s blown! My train is slashed from eight carriages to three, This puts me centre stage atContinueContinue reading “Station cat”

“And one clear call for me”

“And one clear call for me!” How I yearn for this call. A call to arms A call to action A call to war. What is wrong with me that I can only imagine a call to fight. A call to create? Too much has been created. Too much has been made. Too many busyContinueContinue reading ““And one clear call for me””

Political anonymity and the end of the world

Dear friends,I nail my colours to the mast.I am a tory, but I didn’t vote for them.Is this of interest.No.Not if you don’t know who I am, or have no interest in me.If I am political, I must be public.If I am intelligent but not political I should shut up. (no, really).It is no goodContinueContinue reading “Political anonymity and the end of the world”