Promiscuity

This post is really more on

https://schnark.home.blog/2024/11/05/non-monogamy/

It is a rejection of the negative.

After writing the above I understood that “non-monogamy” was only a new term for what before had been called being “single”.

But two years into a search for companionship

As I finally begin to understand how to use dating apps,

The nub of which is “not to need them” just as it is, not to need company – to accept this half life as a fitting place in its own right, OR, as a starting place from which to grow another life.

So rather than the negative nonsense of Non Mono Gámos

Which literally translated means not one marriage, I will go with a word which means something like “in favour of mixing”,

A word which has only been used to describe human sexual behaviour for 100 years of its 500+ year life.

To seek female company without showing neediness one must be promiscuous.

Middle aged women do not want a hundred percent of anyone they don’t know well.

It is exhausting,

Because all these people need to be romanced.

And to romance is to show enthusiasm.

So when someone says they like going to the theatre, I need to invite them to the theatre,

And if there are five of them…

And I’m not going to take them all on the same night…

Or maybe there are more,

And I’ve got to make love to them all,

But slowly

So they don’t see it as love

Best don’t even use the word,

But I’m haunted by it.

—

Gámos means more marriage, or the celebration of it

Than sex,

Although its root is sexual union.

—-

Marriage, itself, is a word in our own language, that we’re more familiar with, but is also contestable;

For some the idea of marriage is a vision of abuse and hell.

Is the glass half full? Or empty?

Two people either complimenting one another or holding each other back.

Myself and my dear wife, were like two engines, with different rhythms, that if shackled together would make poor progress.

We once tried paddling a two man kayak, and could only go around in circles, that was a long day.

—-

But we weren’t shackled,

We were connected with a mysterious long line

That could never tangle.

—-

That’s not to say there was any bed of roses,

That there weren’t big difficulties,

That I wasn’t –

Still –

Holding her back.

—-

Dating after the years of sexual production;

What are we looking for?

Mutual support?

Completeness?

To be appreciated ourselves?

Physical union?

—-

But we’re lacking the simple explanation,

That what we’re doing is part of a cycle of life.

We’re missing the inescapability of our action.

It is replaced with a question;

Could we not do better?

—

And this morning

I have;

One agreed to come to the theatre,

Two that want to be invited

(One of those is abroad and another has yet to share her number)

Two on the app who write to tell me they are far away,

It seems…

Open to conversation,

But not making conversation

—-

It can’t go on for ever

And I probably shouldn’t publish this…..