Playing with words

can be a dangerous game.

Most new dictionary terms are just new ways of expressing old things.

My last piece titled Non monogamy has caused me considerable unquiet, and, I think, not been well understood without laboured explanation.

When the public mood gives priority to an issue, we seek to address it with new laws, and often new terms.

We had “corruption of minors”, and now we have “grooming”. There is now pressure for abusers to be prosecuted for domestic violence and coercive control towards children under the age of consent.

I see these as over dramatic and unimaginative solutions to real problems.

A better answer would be to encourage, empower and enable authorities to study and understand each complaint, and of course to encourage parents/guardians and children to complain. Thereby real dangers can be identified, offences prevented, and offenders prosecuted under current laws.

I’m only using those as examples of language changing, and how that can change how we think, not wishing to engage in those topics.

So my Non Monogamy heading was a victim of the same flawed logic, and of my not following through with thought before publishing.

And here I go again….

I’ve spent a year chasing women, mostly through the internet and the wretched dating apps, and I’m weary of it. I’m not an “alpha” and I don’t come across as confident or dominant, and I just don’t have the patience. I have an obsessive personality, hence I can’t do mainstream social media, which puts me at a double disadvantage. Not being on social media makes many people suspicious of me, and my obsessing with the dating apps has been counter productive.

Also, I’m often attracted to younger women, rarely to older, (but occasionally I am), and I don’t think it’s reasonable, fair, or likely to seek a long term monogamous relationship with a younger woman whilst I’m looking down the barrel of old age.

Oh, and I’m very impatient, did I say that?

I’m trying to wind it down, and face the likely reality of living alone.

I think we used to call this being single, or “living alone”.

So I apologise for muddying the water.

Please wish me the strength to make this transition from impatiently seeking lovers, to patiently seeking sailing/gardening companions, without any double meaning.

S.